Thursday, June 12, 2008

Girlie Wisdom

I thought you all could use a few laughs to help you get through the rest of the week...





Women over 50 don't have babies because
they would put them down
and forget where they left them.
~~~
A friend of mine confused her Valium
with her birth control pills...
she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
~~~
One of life's mysteries is
how a 2-pound box of chocolates
can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
~~~
My mind not only wanders,
it sometimes leaves completely.
~~~
The best way to forget your troubles
is to wear tight shoes.
~~~
The nice part about living in a small town
is that when you don't know
what you are doing,
someone else does.
~~~
The older you get,
the tougher it is to lose weight
because by then, your body
and your fat are really good friends.
~~~
Just when I was getting used to yesterday,
along came today.
~~~
Sometimes I think I understand everything,
and then I regain consciousness.
~~~
I gave up jogging for my health
when my thighs kept rubbing together
and setting fire to my knicker's.
~~~
Amazing!

You hang something in your closet
for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
~~~
Skinny people irritate me!
Especially when they say things like...
'You know sometimes I forget to eat!'

....Now I've forgotten my address,
my mother's maiden name and my keys,
but I have never forgotten to eat.

You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
~~~
The trouble with some women
is that they get all excited about nothing
and then they marry him.
~~~
I read this article that said the typical symptoms
of stress are eating too much,
impulse buying, and driving too fast.
Are they kidding?

That's my idea of a perfect day!


15 comments:

Diane J. said...

LOL! ;o)

These are so good!

Hope you have a wonderful day, Jo.

Love and hugs,

Diane

Britt-Arnhild said...

LOL. Yes, you really gave me a good laugh :-)

Linds said...

Perfect! Your timing is superb! I laughed so much at the first one...there has to be a lot of truth in that!

The weekend is nearly here. What a delight.

oldcrow61 said...

lol, there's truth to a lot of those.

mjgolch said...

Works for me,but than again If I eat a 2 lb box of chocolates I gain 7 lbs.Go figure.

Reva said...

I love your little chuckles of wisdom.
I also wanted to thank you for your comments on my site. I do have to admit right up front that 2 of the beautiful pics of my grandkids were taken by my daughter, their mother. She is a great photographer I think and I hope she continues with it beyone a hobby.
Thanks for all your positive messages on your blog.

Betty said...

I've seen that before, but it is still funny to read it again. I hope you have had a good day today.

Prixie said...

certainly mad my friday! thanks! :)

PEA said...

ROFL I loved this Jo! hehe Oh my goodness, the sad part is that it's all true! lol Thank you so much for making me laugh today:-) xoxo

Jeff B said...

Liked them all except one. Bettcha know which one too.

Bwahahaha

Tracy said...

Laughing! this was great!

Hope you have a great weekend!

Steven and Aisha said...

So funny! Lol! Thanks for making me laugh!

Mary said...

Thanks so much for the laugh, I could really use it right now..Mary

Anonymous said...

good one's, just whst i needed after a long day

Anonymous said...

I congratulate, what necessary words..., a remarkable idea