Thursday, June 12, 2008

Girlie Wisdom

I thought you all could use a few laughs to help you get through the rest of the week...

Women over 50 don't have babies because
they would put them down
and forget where they left them.
A friend of mine confused her Valium
with her birth control pills...
she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
One of life's mysteries is
how a 2-pound box of chocolates
can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders,
it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget your troubles
is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town
is that when you don't know
what you are doing,
someone else does.
The older you get,
the tougher it is to lose weight
because by then, your body
and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday,
along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything,
and then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health
when my thighs kept rubbing together
and setting fire to my knicker's.

You hang something in your closet
for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
Skinny people irritate me!
Especially when they say things like...
'You know sometimes I forget to eat!'

....Now I've forgotten my address,
my mother's maiden name and my keys,
but I have never forgotten to eat.

You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
The trouble with some women
is that they get all excited about nothing
and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms
of stress are eating too much,
impulse buying, and driving too fast.
Are they kidding?

That's my idea of a perfect day!


Diane J. said...

LOL! ;o)

These are so good!

Hope you have a wonderful day, Jo.

Love and hugs,


Britt-Arnhild said...

LOL. Yes, you really gave me a good laugh :-)

Linds said...

Perfect! Your timing is superb! I laughed so much at the first one...there has to be a lot of truth in that!

The weekend is nearly here. What a delight.

oldcrow61 said...

lol, there's truth to a lot of those.

mjgolch said...

Works for me,but than again If I eat a 2 lb box of chocolates I gain 7 lbs.Go figure.

Reva said...

I love your little chuckles of wisdom.
I also wanted to thank you for your comments on my site. I do have to admit right up front that 2 of the beautiful pics of my grandkids were taken by my daughter, their mother. She is a great photographer I think and I hope she continues with it beyone a hobby.
Thanks for all your positive messages on your blog.

Betty said...

I've seen that before, but it is still funny to read it again. I hope you have had a good day today.

Prixie said...

certainly mad my friday! thanks! :)

PEA said...

ROFL I loved this Jo! hehe Oh my goodness, the sad part is that it's all true! lol Thank you so much for making me laugh today:-) xoxo

Jeff B said...

Liked them all except one. Bettcha know which one too.


Tracy said...

Laughing! this was great!

Hope you have a great weekend!

Steven and Aisha said...

So funny! Lol! Thanks for making me laugh!

Mary said...

Thanks so much for the laugh, I could really use it right now..Mary

Anonymous said...

good one's, just whst i needed after a long day

Anonymous said...

I congratulate, what necessary words..., a remarkable idea