Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Once Upon A Time......

Once upon a time in Cyberland there existed a blog that went by the name of 'Moodscapes'. The hand that penned this blog belong to (ME!) and I was delighted with the outlet I had created for expressing myself. No matter what the mood, I could express it there and for the most part everyone respected my feelings and my thought process.

I have a condition that many people suffer from, called fibromyalgia. What a dream come true when the FDA approved a drug that would take care of the pain that fibromyalgia brought nearly everyday. Lyrica was the name of this drug. Memory takes me back to thinking how musical the name sounds. Music for most people is a source of relaxation so therefore it is a fitting name.

Oh, the first few weeks of taking this new drug was wonderful. Although there was still a certain amount of pain it was very bearable in comparison to the pre-Lyrica days. After reading the side effects flyer that came with the Lyrica, things looked even more promising because the worse thing listed was dizziness. No big deal. After all some had accused me in my younger days as living in a permanent state of 'Dizzy".

As the days marched on, I started having fleeting bouts of depression. Well, it is the season for depressions for one thing and depression rides in a side car with fibromyalgia for the other. Therefore not much thought was given to the depression.

However on one bright sunny morning, my world exploded on me. I don't even recall now what sparked it. I do recall thought, that not a soul was safe from my mouth and verbal ravings. Anyone that dared get in my path heard ranting and raving from me that I am sure they never in their wildest dreams thought would come out of my mouth. I hurt several loved ones that day and I will forever pray for their forgiveness. I also clicked delete on Moodscapes, as well as my Grandparents blog.

During one lucid moment I knew this was all terribly wrong. I went online to check out the side effects of this miracle drug more thoroughly. I found a web site that not only lists the common side effects (these are the ones we get as a print out with the medication) but it also listed the uncommon side effects. I could not believe what I was seeing. In the uncommon side effects (effecting 1 in 1,000) was a list of every strange behavior I had experienced over the past few weeks. At that moment, I decided I had to get that garbage out of my system. So I just stopped taking every drug that was prescribed to me. (special note: not recommended) I was very fortunate that I didn't suffer any ill effects from doing that.

All I was concerned with was purging my system of these chemicals and becoming a human being again. I am happy to report that it seems to be working.

As a result 'Moodscapes' is just a memory and I now attach my thoughts and memories to 'Bits and Pieces'. It is very important that when given a new drug, especially one that is praised as a miracle drug of sorts, that you check out as much information on it as possible. Although Lyrica is working for many people and making a huge difference in their lives, it doesn't work for everyone. I am proof of that. I would prefer to deal with the pain of fibromyalgia than to live through another nightmare like the one 'WE' experienced.

.............. And they all lived happily ever after.
Now you know the rest of the story.


Becky said...

Man, this hit home. I have those bouts of depression as a result of some meds I take. Or more truthfully, as a result of age/menopause/lack of certain things in my body. The meds I take make me better. When I was not taking them I was miserable.

I can relate. I sure hope you have more good days than bad with your FMA. Perhaps a new drug will come out sooner than you think.

judypatooote said...

JO, I sure do hope that you can stay feeling better....TV makes drugs sound like a miracle ...then they add, but ask your doctor for there is a chance for these side effects...and wow what doozy side effects they have....

Blogging is very helpful in keeping up your spirits...and make sure you visit ones that lift up your spirits....I have several on my favorites that make me laugh, and we all need that in this world.. judy

Jo and JD said...

Oh you are so right about visiting the uplifting blogs. I am so happy that I found yours to visit. I truly enjoy it.

jle said...

Hi! Wow. This post was somethin'. So much for the musical sound of "Lyrica." Turned out to be one of those modern rock pieces that sounds like cats being strangled. ;-) Good to know. And i love this line: "depression rides in a side car with fibromyalgia"--Good one.

Oh--and i love your site--all new and beautiful and clean. :-)

violetlady said...

Now I know the "rest of the story." I had wondered what happened to you. Glad you are back!