Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Deep-Pink Fingernail Crisis......

As early as 400 BCE, Hippocrates taught that the nails reflect the condition of the inner body. It is true that abnormalities of the nails can often provide early clues to common medical problems or severe systemic diseases.

Red or deep pink: Can indicate a tendency to poor peripheral circulation.

Half white/half pink: May indicate fungal infection or, more seriously, kidney disease.

Sitting on the exam room table, I stared closely at my fingernails and began to think horrible thoughts. God, what if it’s something really serious? What if the doctor walks into the room and tells me I need to go right to the ER? It can’t be good to have inexplicable blood under each fingernail on my right hand. What if ... ? I don’t know. What if I didn’t have much time left?

I looked closely at my left hand and focused in on a slight tinge of pink on my ring finger. Shit! Whatever it is, it’s spreading to my left hand.

"Have you ever seen anything like this?" I asked the nurse as she peeled the blood pressure cuff from my bicep.

"No, I haven’t," she admitted.

"You didn’t touch anything with red ink or anything?" she asked.

"No," I said. "The thing is, I wash my hands and it goes away a little bit but then it comes right back."

"Oh," she said regrettably. "The doctor will be right in."

It had been three days of closely watching my fingernails grow more and more red. Susanne was getting very concerned; especially after I reported my findings from the Internet.

"You have to go to the doctor!"

My jacket sat in a clumsy pile behind me on the table. Waiting for the doctor to come in, I searched for my cell phone in my jacket pocket. When I pulled my left hand out, I noticed significant red stains on my fingertips.


Or …

It was the Ocean Spray powdered cranberry grape drink mix pack that burst open and spilled into my pocket.

"Yes, jackass! The redness comes back every day because you continue to put your hand back into your jacket pocket! Funny how it works that way!

The doctor walked in and I sheepishly explained my idiocy, showing her the purple drink mix wrapper as evidence.

"Another life saved," she joked, as I still sat there shaking my head.

"So you never smelled it?" she asked.

Putting my fingers to my nose, the odor was quite sweet and grapey.

This was a true "Carey moment."

"Maybe. I guess so. I don’t know. I just didn’t put it all together."

So what does all this have to do with diabetes?

If Charlie didn’t have diabetes, I wouldn’t have had a sugar-free juice mix packet in my pocket to begin with and it wouldn’t have exploded and I wouldn’t have thought I had one month to live and I wouldn’t have wasted my morning or spent a co-pay and I wouldn’t have made a fool of myself over grape-flavored fingernails.

Dammit! I want my 20 bucks back, diabetes!

by Carey Potash

Note from Jo: I found this article at the d-life web site. We get so wrapped up in the seriousness of our diabetes and the many ways that it can branch out and wreak havoc on so many other areas of our bodies that we sometimes forget the importance of laughter or even just a smile. I got a laugh from the article that Carey wrote and wanted to share it with you. If you have diabetes or live with and care for someone that is diabetic you really need to check out the d-life web site.

I thought I would post this little poem that was sent to me a while ago. At first I thought this was funny...

then I realized the awful truth of it.

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries,
Then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me
to my doom..."

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.


Now here is something else to ponder....

Accounts Receivable Tax

Bed Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL license Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)

Gross Receipts Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges

IRS Penalties (tax on top of Tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Personal Property Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service Charge Tax

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax

Sales Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Utility Taxes

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

I heard on the news last night that they are planning to tax Tanning beds now. They didn't say, but I believe that it will be an Ohio tax. No doubt if this state manages to rake in a nice profit from this tax it will eventually show up in other states.

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle income group in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What the heck happened?Repeat after me: "politicians?"And, on top of that, we still have to "press 1" for English!!!

Wishing you a peaceful relaxing Wednesday that isn't too taxing.............. :o)


Mountain Mama said...

The pink fingernail post is hillarious! I think it seems funnier because I have done similar things.
Yes the taxes poem is funny but unfortunately too true.

PEA said...

Omigosh, I have tears running down my cheeks from laughing so much after reading that story...that is toooo funny! hehe Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be, to figure it all out about the juice mix while in the doctor's office?! lol You're so right, we do need to also laugh while wrapped up in the seriousness of certain diseases like diabetes. xoxo