Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Theft Warning.........

I received this important e-mail this morning from my long time friend Sue. I was horrified as I read what she had written, because the same thing had happened to me. Since we have known each other for so long at first I tried to think of someone that perhaps we both knew. Maybe someone from all of those years ago that were perhaps jealous of us and it has just festered over the years. I still haven't been able to figure out who would have been cruel enough to do this. Sue thinks she has a theory. Read on and tell me what you think.......

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again.My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me!
The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


I hope this posting brought a smile to your face. If for even a minute the weight of your burdens was lifted from your shoulders.... Then you have given me reason to smile. Blessings to each and every one of you.


Hopefulsl said...

Yes in deed, this post has put a smile on my face. It has been a very nice day to read all of your post's.
Thanks for putting a smile on my face and giving me laugher today....
Big HUGS Sent Your Way.
Love Stacy

Edie Marie's Attic said...

Oh Jo! You warned me too late! This happened to me through the past several years to my horror! Everything has been stolen and replaced here too but I keep my boobs well hidden in my socks!! No one would ever think to look there!
My hubby and I laughed so hard as we read your post! And yes, we needed it! You are so wonderful Jo!!!
Hugs, Sherry

Psst Stop by my blog I have an award for you!

mjgolch said...

Jo, the same thing has happend to me they came and stole my good stuff jut to replace it with a flabby ugly body that I've stuck with now.
that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Mountain Mama said...

I can relate, unfortunately.
I remember when my mother told me this would happen, but I was young firm and bouncy. Good thing I don't do much bouncing nowdays or I'd give myself one heck of a black eye!

Linds said...

Oh yes, I can identify - just yesterday I had to expose my knees and legs to the physio and I looked down in horror and shrieked, "where did THEY come from?" He nearly fell over he laughed so much. Groan. Doomed. I am doomed.

And then there is that mysterious body part which appears when you try to do up the seat belt. Somewhere between the chest and the place where the waist used to be. It heaves everything up and nearly throttles you. Outrageous.

Tracy said...

Laughing! Yep it brought a smile to my face! Thank you for sharing!

I have presented you with a special award on my page. Please come by and pick it up!


Tina Coruth said...


This didn't just make me smile -- this made me laugh out loud!! Thank you!!! :-)


farmlady said...

Scary, but true!

You gave me a good laugh this morning.

BittersweetPunkin said...

Edie Marie sent me over and I ROFL!!
Thanks for the giggle,

Picket said...

Oh My Word!!!!! lol lol That was hilarious!!! Sherry over @ Edie Maries sent me over...good grief I am laughinhg so hard I am choking..I've had every major body part abducted..that explains alot...I thought it was the Pepsi & fig newtons!!! lol lol have a great day friend!

Joanne Kennedy said...

OMG! Thank you! Thank you! I was starting think I was losing my mind as I had no idea what was going on with me. So it true. I feel much better knowing that that is what happened to me. I just knew it had nothing to do with me sleeping. But I was worried about going to sleep because everytime I do something else gets taken.

I'm off to warn all my friends now to keep a look out for the body snatchers! Those DARN plastic surgeons. I knew they were up to something. I also knew I noticed my body parts on some of the stars and models. I want them back!


Angelique said...

I am laughing so hard right now! I love this post!!

judypatooote said...

Oh my gosh, so that's what happened.....I've been trying to figure out where my old body went... I am going to my 50 year class reunion in Sept. and Now I can explain what happened to the old judy.....LOL thanks for the laugh.... judy

Kate said...

Hi Jo, your post was soooo funny my husband just popped through to the spare room (which doubles as 'the computer room' ) and I was trying to explain to him what I was laughing at.... being a man he hadn't a clue what on earth I was getting at, he ended up shaking his head and walking away leaving me in fits... Thanks for cheering me up, it was just what I needed, I called to visit from Judy Patooote's site. Cheers and Best Wishes from Scotland, Land of the Tartan and the Wild Haggis hehe. Kate x.

Kate said...

Hi again Jo, I also have added your blog to mine, I love your blog and adore the music which plays too. I have a confession to make, I copied and therefore stole two of your blogs - the one about the little house out back, because it brought back a lot of memories to me. I also copied your 'theft' blog - I did this because I am a member of an early menopause site in the UK, you have no idea how common it is, (early meno that is,) the number of girls who are going through it from mid twenties and mid thirties is amazing. It is a great pity as it then means that there are a lot
of folks who cannot have babies which is heartbreaking. plus of course they have to go through menopause, which is no easy matter for some. The 'Theft' blog has already caused a lot of hilarity among the girls - so Thank You.

I had already tried to comment about this and for some unknown reason my post disappeared, this then is a second try - hope you get this one. Wonder if it is something to do with the problem you are experiencing with your PC. How are your arms by the way ? you really must be shattered after all your swimming of the pond! glad you were able to hoover up some of my crumbs to help you. If that had happened to me I would have been lost, I haven't got a scoobie how to fix computer blips etc, am totally PC illiterate. I have been in and out of your site trying to trace my last post, it seems to have disappeared completely into the ether.

Hope you have managed to solve your PC probs, Thanks again for the laughter, I am sending blessings to you from the land of the tartan.

Cheers, Kate x.

lom said...

kate sent me over, nice site