A Hole In Our Heart

~ February 19, 2010~
Buddy went home to the Angels.

My sunshine doesn't come from the skies,
It comes from the love in my dog's eyes.

~Unknown Poet

In his grief from the loss of a dog, a little boy stands for the first time on tiptoes, peering into the rueful morrow of manhood. After this most inconsolable of sorrows there is nothing life can do to him that he will not somehow be able to bear.

~James Thurber

Thorns may hurt you,
men desert you,
Sunlight turn to fog;
But you are never friendless ever,
If you have a dog.

~ Douglas Mallock

Until one has loved an animal,
A part of one's soul
remains unawakened.

~Anatole France

I talk to him when I am lonesome;
And I am sure he understands.
When he looks at me so attentively,
And gently licks my hand;
Then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes,
But I never say naught there at.
For the good Lord knows
I can buy more clothes,
But never have a friend like that.

~W. Dayton Wedgeforth

It was a Sunny February afternoon 2009 when we went for a little ride and found our Buddy living in a home that was just barely fit for habitation. Buddy had been advertised in Freecycle and it was a win win situation for Buddy and us. Buddy found a new home and we found a wee critter to love and care for.

Little did we know that this little furry critter was going to walk into our heart and take up residence there as quickly and completely as he did. Buddy came complete with his own baggage. He was very skeptical when it came to men. He just wanted nothing to do with them. Of course J.D. wasn't going to just let it stay that way. Little by little he won Buddy's trust and his love. At some point in Buddy's life someone must have hurt his feet because he was very protective of them. He loved to cuddle with me and it wasn't long before he allowed me to gently pet his little paws as he laid with me or as he sat on my lap at the computer. When J.D. tried to pet his feet Buddy would let out a very slow and low growl that sounded more like a purr. Eventually though he allowed J.D. to pet on his paws without the purr.

I asked the girl that we got Buddy from what kind of food was he eating and she help up a small plastic bag with a handful of the small milk bones in it. Not only did that change to a good nourishing dog food, but Buddy learned that if he begged real sweet and put on a pitiful little face that just about anything that he wanted in the way of food would be shared with him. Buddy didn't just receive love, he gave the love back. Any time that the grandchildren stayed over night, Buddy was up in the middle of the night checking on them and even jumping up into bed with them for a little while just to share the love. Seth being the youngest and littlest attracted Buddy with a special love and caring that he wouldn't give to others. I have to tell you tthe secret that Seth used to win that trust with..... a bag of potato chips. We found Seth on the couch one evening with a full bag of chips on one side of him and Buddy on the other side and Seth giggling as he fed the chips to Buddy one by one. He loved to run and when the boys were here that was always on the agenda.

He was a little ball of energy at times and after J.D. had earned his trust and love, when he was feeling especially playful it was J.D. that he sought out. They played fetch, keep away and hide and seek with the ball. J.D. would wrap the ball up with the bath towel that we kept by the door to dry Buddy's feet with after he had been outside. Buddy would work on getting his ball out of the towel and finally succeed on freeing it. He had played that game just a couple of times and we caught him hiding the ball himself folding the towel over his ball with his nose until it was completely hidden and then freeing it like he did when J.D. hid it. He loved to play rough with J.D. too. J.D. would put on his leather work gloves and let Buddy attack, gnaw, growl and chew on his hands to his hearts content. Yet, he knew that was a game he only played with J.D. and only when he had the gloves on. Yet he was always gentle with me and the children. Over the last few months Buddy had become even closer to J.D. to the point that he was cuddling with J.D. in the recliner when he just didn't do that before.

In the year that Buddy had been with us he had only gone into the road at the most maybe two times. We don't have a clue as to what enticed him to the road on Friday. What ever it was, it would prove to be the last time Buddy would run into the road. I missed my shadow following me through the house and asked J.D. if Buddy had gone out to make some more yellow snow. He wasn't in the house, so we figured he had slipped out when J.D. was bringing fire wood in. J.D. called him a couple of times and when Buddy didn't answer (he always came when J.D. called) J.D. went to the road. I watched as J.D. came down the path carrying Buddy. I knew right then that Buddy was hurt. Otherwise, he would have been struggling to get down and run in the snow. J.D. thought that Buddy was already gone when he picked his limp little body up out of the pool of blood that he was laying in after being hit by a car. When he got him to the house though Buddy moved his eyes when he heard my voice. We wrapped Buddy in his towel and called the vet to let them know we would be bring Buddy in as an emergency. Our Buddy took his final breath half way to the vet's office.

Buddy had my heart wrapped around his paw and he had a sturdy grip on J.D.'s heart as well. No words were needed to know the pain, loss and emptiness that we share over the loss of Buddy. J.D. has always been a tower of strength for me through some pretty difficult times. The death of Buddy brought him to his knees though. I grieve for the loss of our furry little ball of love and my heart aches for the pain that J.D. is dealing with as well.

Buddy, you left a hole in our heart that feels as if it will never be healed. My mind tells me that in time the heart will heal, but my heart says there is no way to heal such a large wound. In spite of the pain that we are dealing with over your death, Boo Puppy, we are grateful that God placed you in our life even for such a short time. We are even more grateful that in the last year of your life we were able to give you more love and and caring than you knew what to do with.

Sleep in peace little one, until we can be together again in another life.

Lots Of Fluff

"There is a privacy about it
which no other season gives you.....
In spring, summer and fall
people sort of have
an open season on each other;
Only in winter, in the country,
can you have longer quiet stretches when
you can savor belonging to yourself."

~Ruth Stout

~*~

We watched it snow all day yesterday adding fresh fluffy inches of snow to what was already here. We woke up this morning to still more snow floating through the air like feathers. Thanks to J.D.'s perseverance over the summer months we have plenty of fire wood to burn in the wood stoves for warmth.

We have gotten such a kick out of watching our short legged little Buddy running through the snow. He charges through it and reminds me a lot of the snow plow salting the road. You can see a cloud of snow rise up in the air and little puppy ears flapping in the breeze. Of course Buddy is a bit on the spoiled side and likes to cuddle up to a warm place or warm body and take naps. Needless to say he doesn't stay out any longer than is needed to do his business, randomly mark his territory and come back inside. No longer than Buddy is out he is wet when he comes in and we keep a towel by the door to dry him with. He tolerates this a little grudgingly at times with a small growl that sounds more like a purr. When drying his feet we always check between the pads and every time there is little ice balls collected there from the snow. I'm sure that if Buddy could speak he would be thankful that he has the life and the home he has.

I know that not every one can bring their dogs inside to live. As an example, hunting dogs. I can just imagine trying to raise a couple of basset hounds inside. I hope that these outdoor pets are given the extra attention that they need in this cold weather. I know that people who live in the north know the special care that their pets need in cold weather. However there may be those in the south that are getting blasted with these cold temperatures that may not think to take the extra care that their pets require in consideration. Things like making sure that the water for their pet doesn't freeze. Make sure that they have a dry shelter to go to. A bed of straw or cedar chips will help to keep them warm.

Have a blessed day and take some time to belong to yourself.

Birds Of A Feather

Every spring for the past five years we have witnessed sometimes as many as three families of Bluebirds per year nest in our Bluebird houses. One year the mother and father were no where to be seen when the babies started emerging from the nest. J.D. and I took it upon ourselves to be their nursemaids until they got the feel of flight. This was mostly to protect the little ones from a Ferrel cat that I had been feeding. This year one family nested in the Bluebird house the end of February. Now we are hosting the second family already.

It seems as if this year we may be serving as referees to the little winged critters. A Robin family has decided to build a nest in my Clematis vines. The picture above gives you an indication as to how close the two nests are. The Robin spends a lot of time sitting in one of the pear trees or deep inside of the Clematis and attacks the Bluebirds when they come to their nest. We need to keep a close watch to make sure the Bluebirds don't desert their nest. Especially if they have already hatched their eggs.

We have gotten a lot of enjoyment out of watching the birds that come to J.D.'s mountain to eat, nest and bring their own little families into the world. I remember a few years ago when Riley had come to visit us. His attention went to all of the activity going on around the Bluebird house. I explained to him how to tell the difference between the Mama and Papa Bluebird. I also told him that the reason they were flying away from the bird house and flying back so much was because their eggs had hatched and they had a bunch of hungry babies in there that they had to feed. He watched a little while longer and then pointed out the Papa Bluebird flying away. He told me that the Papa must be going to Wal-Mart to get some more food for the babies.

When we are pretty sure that the weather isn't going to turn cold again J.D. goes up on the roof and covers the chimneys for the wood stoves. He was watching a program on TV a few weeks ago and out of the corner of his eye, saw something moving in the wood stove. Taking a closer look he discovered a Starling had some how gotten into the chimney and followed it down to the wood stove. J.D. opened the door and then captured our little visitor and set him free. About a week later he heard a scratching noise in the stove pipe. Sure enough the Starling had decided to pay us another visit, only this time getting his little biddy feet hung up in one of the joints in the stove pipe. J.D. once more freed the little thing from the wood stove and after checking if it had injured itself, set it free. I think it was trying to build a nest in the chimney and kept falling down the stove pipe. After getting hung up, I think the Starling family found another location to build their nest. Never a dull moment on this mountain ridge.


(Click on collage to enlarge)

Buddy has adjusted very well to his new home. He wasn't here long when we noticed that he kept licking at his hind paw. J.D. took a closer look at his paw and found that the nail of his right dew claw had grown to the point that it curved under and was embedded in the pad by about an eighth of an inch. We used toenail clippers and cut the nail so we could pull the embedded part of it out of the pad. Poor little guy...... that had to have been awfully painful for him. He has started making up to J.D. He loves playing ball with him and when a storm pops up he spends more time on J.D.'s lap. He had his visit with the vet last week to get his shots and a good once over to make sure he is healthy. Our vet said he was just perfect. No worms, perfect weight and good teeth and clear ears. He gave us a few tranquilizers to give him when a bad storm is coming. We had a very bad storm a few days before going to the vet and Buddy was really terrified of it. He panted and paced and when we could get him to sit with one of us he was shaking violently. We were really concerned about the way he responded to the storm. Buddy being a part of our life has proven to be a joy and a blessing.

Hope that your week is filled with blessings and happiness.