Meaningful Monday A Day Late

I missed posting my Meaningful Monday yesterday. Ike came through over the weekend and at the same time we had a cold front moving in, resulting in a double whammy. We lost our electric for about two hours and from what we are hearing on the news we were very fortunate. Many in the Columbus area are still without electric and not likely to have it restored until Wednesday, while some areas not until Sunday. With those storms moving in, my pain meter has been riding on the high side. After the cortisone shot in my knee, the blood sugar has been spiking into the upper 200's. Of course that puts me in a funky kind of existence. The desire to do something productive is there, but the get up and get-r-done is no where to be found.

When I found this 'Note To Self' graphic, it spoke volumes to me. I am a 'make a note' person. Almost as long as I can remember I have been one of those people that are constantly making notes to get things accomplished. When I was in school, it was so I would be able to remember when certain assignments were do so I didn't miss the deadline and get a BIG ZERO for my work being turned in late. As a young bride, it was just second nature to make notes, so I just continued the practice. Later on as a mother of two active children, those notes were my survival tool to make sure that all activities fell into place and I was where I was supposed to be, when I was supposed to be there. ( Of course there was that one time when I dropped Chris at school for a dance and went home to wait until it was time to pick him up. I fell asleep and awoke to the phone ringing and Chris asking, "Did you forget something?" when I answered the phone.) He still pulls that story out and uses it on me from time to time. These days, my notes are to make sure that I don't forget blood work, doctor's appointments, spending time with the kids, birthdays, grand children's activity schedules and of course grocery lists.

Growing up was not filled with the wonderful memories that most people have. To be quite honest about it, my father was an abuser. He was physically and emotionally abusive to my mother. He was abusive to his children in the order of our birth. His oldest daughter got the physical abuse while his oldest son received the emotional abuse. His youngest son received the physical abuse while myself, the youngest daughter received the emotional abuse. As siblings, we were set up to be dysfunctional by our father. The two that were physically abused, resented the two that were "just" emotionally abused. He created mistrust and jealousy between the four of us. My youngest brother (2 1/2 years my senior) looked for any opportunity to cause me pain. I remember him once waking me to pour pepper in my eyes.

From life with Daddy, I went to a first marriage that turned out to be just more of the same. Needless to say, The majority of my life I didn't have a very good self image, I was very selective about sharing my inner self with anyone, and I spent the better part of my life gathering up any fault that I found laying around, I was trained at an early age to claim it all as mine.

What a wonderful tool the "notes to self" would have been for me in those years. I don't care who you are or how wonderful your life is, everyone has a bad day from time to time. I know personally that I can be my own worse critic when I have a day like that. I think we could all benefit from little "notes to self' reminding us that there is a person within that needs to be reminded of our worth and that we are lovable.

Go ahead and write that "note to self". hoping that you have a day filled with many blessings.

"Note to self: It's OK to not feel good."

Note from Jo........ I want you to know that part of moving ahead with my life has been to accept all aspects of my life before, as the mold that has formed the person that I am. Had I not experienced that life, I would be a different person. Most days, I like who I am.